It's Wednesday Night, 11:59 pm and I'm...

Listening to CFCR. Capt. Midnight is about to hit the airwaves and I am feeling complex tonight.

I am the owner of a car now. It all happened so fast. I am happy to have the car and not to have to ride the bus for 4 hours a day. (You heard right, I have a 2 hour commute each way) But the thing is, with this car, it's a little bit of further independence. It's another step towards the finalization, separation and dissolution of my relationship. I am scared and at the same time, LOVING it. I am, each day, re-inventing who I am and what I am capable of.

As you have probably read, I've had a great few days, filled with old and new friends, laughter and fun. This is still a little overshadowed by my fears of the future... When does it become ok to let go of the fear completely? Or can you even do that?



There was a bad thing too this week though...
I had butterflies.

I won't tell you when or why. At least not yet. It was a scary thing when I realized that I was having butterflies and that they were directed towards a particular event.

The Eagles of Death Metal are rocking the butterflies away, but not fast enough... Maybe a solid 45 minutes on the elliptical will get rid of those fuckers!