Catch up and welcome back!

Hello blogosphere friends!

If you don't recognize me, it's because I am a bad, bad blogger. I have left you out in the cold for far too long, and really, so much has happened!

Barack Obama is President of the United States, Ellen is a judge on American Idol, Jon and Kate are no longer together with their eight, and I became a MAMA!

I know... It's all really shocking. I mean, me, Tracey, a mama. Who'd a thunk it?

My baby is almost 14 months old now, and she is so beautiful! She walks fairly well and she can say a bunch of words, "Mama", "Daddy", "kitty", "Banana", "up", "night-night", and "Hi" are her favorite ones. She is really outgoing. I love taking her for walks, because she waves and blows kisses to everyone she sees. She says "hi" to total strangers and they usually smile back and return the greeting, which only makes her say it again!

This Mother's Day was good, but I cannot wait until she can draw me a picture or glue macaroni and glitter onto construction paper and make me a card. That would be better than any Hallmark greeting for $3.49.

I see her changing every day. I mean, she is growing, and learning and doing new things daily. Last night she used a spoon to eat yogurt properly. She actually dipped the spoon into the bowl and scooped yogurt on the spoon and placed it into her mouth correctly to eat. Yesterday, she couldn't do this. She would end up with a spoonful on her chest or on her forehead, but last night, she got it all into her mouth!

I feel like I am changing with her too. Her changes are visible and noticeable. Mine are more inside. I think I am learning to relax a bit, and I am getting far more patient... I still have a long way to go to being Zen, but I am less anxious than I ever was.

Things haven't been completely wonderful this last 14 months.... I have been battling a pretty severe post-partum depression, and taking medication that I really didn't want to take. Thankfully, all of my "crazies" have been more about self-harm and self-hatred than any bad feelings about her, (which sounds like a weird thing to be thankful for), and I have always been able to focus on getting her needs met even during my worst days.

All told, I have some pretty amazing feelings about this past year. I wish I hadn't left you all in the dark, but for a while, I needed some me space. I am back though, and I'll talk about baby poop so much, you will all wish I'd stayed away!