It's Wednesday Night, 11:59 pm and I'm...

Listening to CFCR. Capt. Midnight is about to hit the airwaves and I am feeling complex tonight.

I am the owner of a car now. It all happened so fast. I am happy to have the car and not to have to ride the bus for 4 hours a day. (You heard right, I have a 2 hour commute each way) But the thing is, with this car, it's a little bit of further independence. It's another step towards the finalization, separation and dissolution of my relationship. I am scared and at the same time, LOVING it. I am, each day, re-inventing who I am and what I am capable of.

As you have probably read, I've had a great few days, filled with old and new friends, laughter and fun. This is still a little overshadowed by my fears of the future... When does it become ok to let go of the fear completely? Or can you even do that?



There was a bad thing too this week though...
I had butterflies.

I won't tell you when or why. At least not yet. It was a scary thing when I realized that I was having butterflies and that they were directed towards a particular event.

The Eagles of Death Metal are rocking the butterflies away, but not fast enough... Maybe a solid 45 minutes on the elliptical will get rid of those fuckers!

Two movies in one week?!?

Tonight, my HMV boys Paul and Peter, and a new friend named Darby all took me to see Halloween. Now, I don't really like scary movies. I get all shaky and squeak and let out little noises during scary movies that usually embarrass me and the people I go with. I mean the adrenaline rush is FANTASTIC and all, but I can get that driving in the wrong direction on Circle Drive at rush hour...

That Rob Zombie sure knows how to shoot a movie! Super awesome camera angles, the music was fantastic and, the best part... I got to sit between Paul and Darby. They protected me from the scary parts. Although Darby did try to scare me a couple of times too...

I got back at him though, I made him drive me home :-)

Oh, and since I almost forgot...

My "date" yesterday was fantastic! I saw Superbad. It was Supergood. I had a few drinks and talked music, movies, Ultimate Frisbee, Juno Awards, pirating (both audio and visual), jobs, the University of Saskatchewan, and Zombies.

It was nearly perfect.

Thanks for making me go Michelle!

Who gave this girl a F-ing Credit card?!?!?!

I have FM-phasis-ed (sp?) myself broke! It SUCKS having my boys be famous radio stars! I've donated myself to the poor house :-)

ok, ok, maybe it wasn't the donations... It could have been the shopping that I did for all of my HOT dates this week (!!!) I needed new shoes, (4 pairs, 2 of which have been discribed as 'Fuck Me Heels'), and some hot new jeans, (they were only $19, how could I say no?), and 4 new tops, (I did borrow a 5th one that I wore last night and I looked freaking awesome!!!), but I know that it was donating to that worthy cause, KICK ASS MUSIC, that pushed me over the financial edge this week.

Ya, it had to be the radio pledges... Go Donate Right Now!

Single...and loving it?

Funny story.

At the new job, there is a guy that is super friendly. Genuinely great guy. I can see myself being friends with this guy for years to come. He works the same shift as I do and we've talked a bit about life type things, but nothing really heavy or "deep". He's come into the music store before, and now that we are friendly, he's going to be expecting discounts... That means trouble, right? :-)

Anyway, earlier today, I gave him my cell number to send me a text to remind me to order him a cd. He sent me a message tonight while I was coming home on the bus. We sent 24 messages back and forth. This is GREAT, right? Nothing like a new guy who could turn into something fun and exciting, right... Except, I find out that he's 17. I'm nearly old enough to be his mother for Christ's sake! Alright, maybe not his mother, but he is the same age as my youngest brother.

Why me? It gets good, and then Poof! Fucked up again! ;-)

It made me laugh. Nothing like a high school senior to make a gal feel great!

A Place Called Home - Kim Richie

Well, it's not hard to see
Anyone who looks at me
Knows I am just a rolling stone
Never landing anyplace to call my own
To call my own

Well, it seems like so long ago
But it really ain't you know
I started out a crazy kid
Miracle I made it through the things I did
The things I did

Someday I'll go where there ain't no rain or snow
‘Til then, I travel alone
And I make my bed with the stars above my head
And dream of a place called home

I had a chance to settle down
Get a job and live in town
Work in some old factory
I never liked the foreman standing over me
Over me

Oh I’d rather walk a winding road
Rather know the things I know
See the world with my own eyes
No regrets, no looking back, no goodbyes
No goodbyes

Someday I'll go where there ain't no rain or snow
‘Til then, I travel alone
And I make my bed with the stars above my head
And I dream of a place called home