Worry? Why Do I Let Myself Worry?

So I am a worrier.

I get it. It's a stupid thing to do. Worrying about something is not useful. It's not actually helping anything to worry. I totally get it.

So I am trying to be a happier person, and stop worrying.

But I am having such a hard time doing that.

I have a friend in her early 30's. She has a sweet and adorable almost 2 year old. She also has a dead husband. That happened suddenly, and with out warning. She has many reasons to worry. She is handling her situation better than I think I would. She is handling her situation better than I am handling any of mine...

Am I looking for a pity party??? I think I am, because when I'm at a party, life is okay. I don't feel alone. I have friends, Tangible friends. I know I have a lot of "acquaintances" and I have a select group of real honest Friends, but I have a suspicion that I keep shutting the door on the good ones, and they are slowly turning away.

I had a friend whom I ADORED!!! She was what I really wanted to be. Smart, approachable, independent, open-minded, funny, loyal, did I mention smart? I am not really sure how it happened, but we stopped going out, and then we stopped calling each other, and then we just stopped...

I miss her so much. I feel a bit lost with out her.

And So I Worry.... About the dumb things, and the big things and things like losing another friend like her.