I'm Not Stupid

This made me smile and laugh out loud. Tori Amos' verdict on the Lindsay Lohan troubles earlier this summer. The second half is part of a song called winter, but unfortunately it cuts off half way through...

Here are the lyrics:

“Just a little chat

I need to have

When I was 21 do you think

I had a bag of cocaine

in my car?

If I did - if I did

You’d never know it

because it would have been hidden

I’m not stupid.

But why are so many 21-year old millionaires so stupid?

Stupid and cute.

But stupid - I don’t know.

Let’s just say

When I was 26 (or seven - or eight)

And I was a billionairess

What would I have done?

Many naughty things.

Many, many, many naughty things.

But I would have had a DRIVER!

‘Cuz I’m not stupid, no.

I’m not stupid, no.

Not THAT stupid anyway

‘Cuz if I had been naughty

(I like being naughty)

But I haven’t been caught so far

and I am almost 44

44

And I’ve done many,

many, many, many, many bad things.

They are hidden inside my *mmm - mmm*

Inside my *mmm - mmm*

So there’s no record or no fingerprints on it

‘Cuz I’m not stupid

‘Cuz I’m not stupid

No, not stupid!”

What makes me happy?

The O.C. all day on Muchmusic! That makes me happy. If only I had a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream too, then I could be Ecstatic!

Still Overwhelmed...when can I be simply whelmed?

I've been packing. When you are thinking about it, it doesn't seem like that it will be hard to pack all of your "stuff" and just go, But trust me, It's hard.

I've been sorting through six years of our his and my stuff, and it's hard. There are things that I don't want to look at right now, but I know that I'll regret it later if I throw it out.

Plus, the sheer VOLUME of everything is overwhelming. I have boxes and boxes of books, cd's dvd's, clothes, dishes, towels, everything! This sucks! Terri, if you are free tomorrow, I would love your expertise!!! :-)

Thanks to those who have sent out love and goodness my way. It is appreciated more than I can express right now! Especially, Kim, Becky, and Tara. You three are amazing, and if I forget to 'take' anything, I know that you will grab it before the door closes! :-) Thanks for being here.

I've gotta get back to my boxes, so I'll see you later!

Trouble in the hen house

I am at a major crossroads right now. And I'm not ok today.

I might be tomorrow. But not today.

My husband of five years has decided that he doesn't love me any more and he wants me out. If I had wanted to get thrown out, I would have done something fun, you know, had an affair with a tall handsome stranger, or something equally nasty.

I am really confused, hurt, scared, angry, embarrassed, ashamed, sick, and shocked. I am walking around in a haze. This doesn't happen to me. What did I do to deserve this?

I know what I did. I changed. I grew up. He changed too. People do. It's a normal thing, I guess. I was 21 when we met and married. I'm 27 now. I have opinions and demands and they don't always correspond to his. He said that we just don't have enough in common and he "doesn't love me enough to try anymore". It hurts to relive the conversations we've had these last two days. It hurts, but it feels better the more I talk about it.

I've turned the comments off for this post. I'm not writing this, to get comments that say anything to me about how I'll be ok, or that this is all for the best. This post is for me. Today, August 9, 2007, My marriage ended. And I'm not ok today.